5:2 Growing the Owl Brain from the Outside

1. Lesson Introduction

  • Focus: offering cues of safety from the outside, meaning the environment

  • Kids with vulnerable nervous systems need a lot of:

    • Structure

    • Routine

    • Predictability

  • 🦉 When the brain knows what’s coming next, it’s more able to rest into connection mode

2. Visual Calendars and Schedules 🗓️

  • Create visual calendars for both your child’s schedule and your family’s schedule

  • Can be monthly, weekly, or daily

  • Pre-reading kids can have picture-based schedules posted

Involving kids

  • Ideally, kids help create the schedule

  • But not always: for some kids, being involved decreases felt safety

  • Some kids simply need to be told what their structure is

Structure for everything

  • Morning and bedtime routines

  • Homework time

  • After-school routine

  • Weekend chore routine

Keep it simple

  • It doesn’t have to be fancy

  • Free printable calendars online, or just a whiteboard

3. Preparing for the Unknown

  • Think about when your child struggles: did they know what to expect?

  • Without predictability, the nervous system can get stuck in protection mode

  • Everyday outings (like restaurants) can be full of cues of danger simply because they’re unfamiliar

Preview before you go

  • Give kids as much information as possible ahead of time

  • Many places have online photos: restaurants, parks, movie theatres, stores

  • Restaurants often post their menus

4. Flexibility Inside Structure: Wild Cards 🃏

  • Good structure allows for flexibility, though some kids handle flexibility better than others

  • Wild cards: a physical card (index card, scrap of paper) that says wild card

  • When the routine has to change, pull it out and name it

Example script

“Hey buddy, I’m sorry I have to use a wild card today. We have to run to the grocery store after school instead of going right home for a snack, playtime, and then homework. I brought you a snack so you can still have it right away, and we’ll do playtime and homework when we get home.”

Notice: the script names the change, apologizes, and preserves what it can (the snack).

Honest limits

  • Wild cards help, but won’t eliminate all dysregulation

  • Some kids cannot adjust to a change in routine

    • We either don’t make the change

    • Or we regulate through their dysregulation

5. Transitions 🔄

  • Watch for challenging behaviour during or after transitions

  • Transitions can be:

    • Big: getting out the door for school, switching classes

    • Small: playtime to dinnertime

  • Transitions carry built-in uncertainty and ambiguity

  • Adults are often less attuned during transitions because we’re transitioning too

What helps

  • Arrange your own schedule so you can be fully present during transitions, without frustration

  • Kids need increased structure and increased co-regulation through transitions

  • Example: child comes in raging after the school bus? Maybe meet them AT the bus

  • It can take just a second’s break in attunement for the lack of safety to take over

Facilitator note: personal examples

  • Deliberately structuring how kids transitioned in and out of the office

  • Being fully ready before your son woke up so he had your full attention, without the stress of still getting ready or running late

Photo discussion 📷

  • The adult has increased structure and co-regulation/correction

  • They’ve decreased the distance (covered next module): touch, eye contact, physical presence

  • 🦉 Kids often need more structure and connection even for tasks they can technically do

    • It’s not a skill gap

    • They need connection and co-regulation to execute the skill

6. The Five Senses 👂👀

Consider how your child is processing the sensory environment:

SenseQuestions to askSoundToo loud? Too quiet?SightToo much visual stimulation? Not enough?TouchTemperature, clothing, a chair that’s too hard?SmellToo strong or unpleasant?TasteToo strong, spicy, or yucky?