Attunement 6:4

🎶 Aligning with our child’s inner world

1 · 🦉 What attunement is

  • A term used throughout the course, now officially defined

  • A skill that grows the owl brain

  • Useful in two kinds of moments:

    • 🌪️ Challenging behaviour

    • 🌤️ Calm, connected, everyday moments

2 · 📖 Dan Siegel’s definition

💛 Attunement is aligning your own internal state with that of the other, through verbal and non-verbal communication.

From Parenting from the Inside Out

  • A moment of energetic matching

  • Two inner states coming into alignment

3 · 🪞 Mirror neurons

  • Neurons that help us feel what someone else is feeling

  • Yours help you sense what your child is feeling, so you can attune

  • Theirs help them feel your attunement

4 · 🤝 Why attunement matters

⭐ Attunement is an invitation into co-regulation.

  • One of the key “ingredients” in helping someone feel felt

  • Feeling felt is one component of felt safety

🎶 Attunement ➜ 💛 Feeling felt ➜ 🛡️ Felt safety

5 · 👀 Words matter, but non-verbals matter more

Attuning words help:

  • 💬 “Oh, that hurt your feelings.”

Non-verbals carry even more:

  • 🎵 Tone

  • 👁️ Eyes

  • ⚡ Energy

  • 🧍 Body posture

  • 🙂 Facial expressions

🔑 Attuning words without attuning non-verbals can feel misattuned, or even sarcastic.

There is a podcast about big words like “hate” RobynGobbel.com/hate

You might also feel supported by watching the Club masterclass on “Helping Kids find their Real Voice: Manipulation, Shut Down, and Verbal Aggression” for this specific behavioral challenge